Yore 2012

In preparation for the time traveling we all planned to do, I held a craft night.  Only two brave souls dared join me in making faux flower head garlands.  After one slightly giddy, longer than expected trip to the dollar store down the street, we were prepared to do battle with ribbon, floral tape and pipe cleaners.

The end result turned out great.  The process was sketchy at best.  The participants, deeply in Bremen.  (Originally derived from the story The Musicians of Bremen, the use of this word actually has nothing to do with the story.  My college roommate's father coined this phrase.  One is said to be in Bremen when they are over tired or have been concentrating for a long period of time and begin to talk to themselves or giggle at things that aren't really that funny.)

Behold, the product!  Kara named them all, let's see if I can remember them. 

This one is "Put A Bird On It".

This one was originally dubbed "Secret Admierer", (I think) but at the 11th hour it was switched to something more randy like "Sultry Mistress".  (* * This just in..the original name for this piece was  "Virginal Maiden" and the second name was actually "Secret Lover". )

This one was called Princess something or other.

I ended up taking off the large flowing and threading in silver star wire instead.

You can tell that the large flower is eye-poppingly large.

So, off to yore we went.  Some in full costume, most not.  One of my friends bought a horn.  A real horn that was touted as being useful "for drinking and blowing."  I'll just let that sit there for a minute.  It had a cap on one end and then could be used as a large cup.  If you took the cap off it could be used as a hunting horn.  He was going to 11 about it.  I love when that happens. He said he'd been waiting for that moment for thirty years.

One of the best parts about the Ren. Fair is that you can never tell who is there on their own, playing a part, being part of the show instead of spectating.  Which of these revelers is being paid?  Which are not?  For instance: The shirtless guy with the huge log.  I'm not kidding.  It's a big piece of tree.  Taller than him.  Some kind of bizarro Log Lady?  There were kiss marks all over it, but I never saw a girl getting near it.  I did see a few try to avoid eye contact.  I saw a few recoil.  He was pretty attractive, shirtless man.  But he becomes creepy when you can't tell if he's just there, or if he's getting paid.

There was also a man dressed as Jack Sparrow.  OK, there were like thirty of them, including Black Jack.  But, this guy was just running around, through stalls, crowds, hiding behind trees, jumping off rock walls, all like Johnny Depp.  He looked and moved exactly like him. I didn't get a picture because he never stood still long enough. It was amazing.  We made a lot of jokes about how it was actually Johnny Depp who came to random Pirate Week Ren. Fairs dressed in character just to eff with people.

Two of the husband's siblings came with us.  It was a fun time.  Here are the sibs decked out in the flowered headband I made, a tooled leather bear mask, and a cheap pirate hat.  You can't imagine the amount of authenticity some people put into their costumes.  I had boot envy.

Stephen bought the place out.  His gorgeous purchases included a hand thrown commemorative mug with this years crest, a tooled leather bear mask, a fairy door and candles.

Here he is getting a Traditional Celtic Reading.  I had no idea the Celts did readings and I have no idea what makes it traditional.  I think it was a bunch of melarchy.

BTW: They had wine slushies.  Just sayin'.

So, In Summary:

The Crafters Of Bremen

Horn of Plenty And Then Some

Depp's New Gig

Bearly Shopping

Prelude To A Bliss

I went sale-ing last weekend.  By myself.  That almost never happens.  I do enjoy it, though.  Sort of a zen moment.  In the zone.

There weren't any street sales or neighborhood sales near me, so I just hit up a few singles.  I almost never do that.  I need to do it more, obviously, because I got quite a nice haul.

Tons of stuff to put in my Etsy store and a few things to fill out a friend's collections.

And also these tid-bits for myself:

50 cents for the mini spatula.  The husband likes new/weird utensils for the kitchen.  It's his kingdom.  Small dark green change purse with jadeite colored plastic beads.  Gorgeous, no?  Aaaand gingham binding tape.  What am I going to use it for?  Dont' ask such ridiculous questions.  I'm going to horde it.

Vintage plastic Halloween kitters!  Smiling cutie used to be a candy holder, methinks.  The orange guy just stands there looking awesome.  I can't wait to add these to my creepy clutter come fall!  The sale I bought these at had no price tags.  God, I hate that.  I wanted these and a few other things and said, "I don't see any price tags."  The man running the sale said, "That's because there are none!  You tell me what you want to pay!" All jovial.  I really can't stand that kind of crap.  He then tried to "That's old you know" me throwing in a bit of "that was my mother's" for good measure.  RRrrr.  So I said, "OK, three dollars."  He took it and I got the hell out of there.  Don't be loud and jovial about your laziness.  It's annoying.

Glorious, aren't they?  I can't get enough vintage paper lanterns.  These are larger than the string of them I have in the bedroom.  They are about 5 or 6" long.  I also got an orange one with this set.  I'm saving that for fall!  The red and green one will go in the dining room and the blue one is scheduled to be installed upstairs.  I got all four of them for 25 cents total.  !!!

The Snug Bungalow has been a very busy, happy and tired place of late.  I had a craft night,  and the husband replaced two broken panes of glass in our garage door, which were like that when we bought the house...oh...eight or so years ago.  So, that feels pretty good.  Big news on the Santa Fe front and we also payed a call to this amazing facility!

Stay tuned for another thrilling adventure!

So, In Summary:

Singles Mingle

A Smiling Used Car Salesman Is Still A Used Car Salesman

Mad Tea Party

Turns Out Santa Fe Didn't Forget Me

Just You Wait!!

Clarence Antique World & Flea Market

There are two flea markets "in my area".  One in Avon, NY and one in Clarence, out near Buffalo.  The one in Avon is the flea market that I grew up going to.  (What's this?  You say you didn't grow up going to a flea market?  How odd.)  It's small and is located at a drive-in movie theater.  It's not the best, but certainly not the worst, either.  Then there is Clarence.  It's a 45 minute drive through the country, which is nice.  And it's just gigantic.  Lots of space for people to set up tables, storage lockers that can be rented out as booths and then a few very large buildings full of antiques co-op style.

It hasn't rained in Rochester in three weeks.  I'm not kidding, three weeks.  And we've had sun, and it's been hella hot.  Like, over 90 degrees.  It's starting to look like the dust bowl around here.  Farmers are weeping, insects are withering, grass is crispy.  So, of course it rained on Sunday while we were at the flea market.

It drove us inside, and I kind of wish it had happened sooner.  The prices inside were great!  The prices outside at the storage shed area were a bit steep.  But, I did manage to find a few delights. 

Can you imagine my surprise when I saw these sticking out from under a table in the rubble of one of the storage lockers?  I saw the plastic eggs first.  Then I dove for it.  I got all of them for $2.50.  I know what you're thinking, a steal, right?? I know.  Totally.  And they are flocked, baby! 

The little girl bunny on the side is a rattle.  A child's toy from the 50's, I'd guess.  Some of the kids toys from back then are so super creepy.  It's like the toy designers are trying to punish the kids or something.  Give 'em nightmares.  I mean, look at her creepy sideways glance.  You can almost hear the ghostly voice calling in the background "Saaaally, Saaaally..."  And then this little she-demon would turn her eyes towards you and then her head would follow and she'd say, "Yeeees...?" with a smile like a cobwebby grave.  I paid $5 for her.  Come on!  You don't find possessed Easter toys that often!

 

Then I found these.  The one and only Muppets collection purchase.  Very old plastic packages of gum.  Labyrinth gum.  I don't get the marketing scheme for this movie.  It's got some fantastic characters, not to mention a staring role for David Bowie's crotch.  They didn't make any toys.  Gum and trading cards.  That's about it.  Who doesn't want an adorable Ludo doll?  I know I do.  It could even utter adorable catch phrases like, "Sarah....friend!" and "Smell...bad!"  Want.  I got the old packets of gum for $6.

 

I love how the Jareth picture looks less like David Bowie and more like David Barbie.  He looks like an overtaxed mother in her mid forties.  "I swear, if those kids don't shut up and let me  have some ME time...."

 

I found this tiny white glitter encrusted jewel-eyed bird Christmas ornament for 50 cents at the outdoor part.  Mine!!

The little jadeite tray was only $5 inside one of the buildings.

I don't know if you know this or not but, I'm going to be in a wedding in November.  I won't go into detail about how you can all thank me and me alone for this affair. (It's not an affair affair, they were both single when fate (I) stepped in.)  But anyway, the bride is one of my very best friends on earth and she loves Christmas.  So, it's a Christmas themed wedding.  Yes.  Yes, I am jealous.

We each get to wear whatever dress we like as long as it goes with the color scheme.  I know you are thinking it must be red and green.  But you are wrong.  This Christmas themed late-fall wedding is peacock color schemed. Now you are jealous too, no doubt!

I found my dress a few weeks ago.  At David's bridal.  Typical, eh?  I was planning to get a vintage dress.  But I just saw one at David's bridal that was the perfect color for my skin.  Teal/Turquoise.  It's short and strapless and WAS $36 DOLLARS! I know, right?  Like I'm going to pass up a perfect $36 dress.  No.  It had a weird beaded flower jobbie on the waistline.  That dude is coming off.  I've been looking for a huge, gorgeous vintage broach to replace it.  Enter, this guy:

It's about 4" long and glitters like no tomorrow.  One of the best parts is that it matches the color of my dress perfectly AND it's not gold, it's a copper-y finish.  It is also the most expensive thing I've bought myself in a while.  It was more than the dress.  It was $40, even though the original price was $78.  Don't judge me.

Here, let's think about something else!  How about neon!  I'm enjoying this resurgence of neon more than is healthy. I'm reliving my childhood something wicked awesome.  It's making me want to go to the Hallmark store to pick out individual crayons in neon colors with my allowance.

So, in summary:

Plastic Nightmare

The Bowie Dream House

Like I Need More Christmas Stuff

The Gemrald

Meedly-meedly-mowwww!

Footloose

I have small feet.  Size 6 or 6.5 in women's.  These days that is a tiny foot.  I have a hard time finding shoes in my size.  When I was younger Payless Shoes had a whole row devoted to size 5-6.  Not so anymore.  These days they have about 4 square feet of space devoted to my size.  I can however, get a nice pair of Dora the Explorer sneakers if I want.  My size has now been relegated to children's wear.

What the world may not know is that Target is there to help a sister out.  I've been stalking their child shoe section.  This might seem slightly inappropriate, as I have no children and some mothers might worry about my intention just loitering around the area.  Get out of my way mothers and little girls.  I'm here for the shoes.

I got two pair of ballet flats last fall.  Never really thinking that I should check the entire section.  I just saw the flats, found my size and bought them for $10 a pop.  What an idiot.  I've missed almost an entire season of shoes!  

Witness: Exhibit A

I've been searching for literally years for the right wedges.  I bought a pair for $22 recently.  They are ridiculously cute: black with white polka dots and a peep toe and bow.  Heavy as an anvil.  I have to walk like I've got lead bricks tied to my feet.  Then I noticed these at Target.  In the kids section.  Now, I'm not going to sit and pontificate over what 8 year old should be wearing this type of a wedge.  I'm just going to elbow her out of the way and grab those shoes.  They were $19, light as air and fit like a miracle. Notice the adorable floral pattern on the bottom. A-double-dorable.  

Now, you just have to focus and ignore the fact that you can literally get a pair of sequined Hello Kitty ballet flats in your size as well.  Unless you are into that.  Then I say go-go gadget sparkle shoes!

While I was there I found these.  On sale for six dollars.  What?  What is happening to the world?  Why are children wearing styles that women wear?  Why are there gorgeous, comfortable sandals in a myriad (yellow, green, pink, blue) of colors being sold for $6? It feels too good to be true.

I'm also currently stalking a pair of hot pink Converse with hot blue laces.  These happen to be in the womens section.  They are $40 and you know how I feel about that.  Don't even try to lecture me for having too many pairs of converse.  I don't need that right now.  What I need is a hot pink pair.

I'm on the edge of my seat for the fall collection.  Dare I hope for riding boots?  Halloween Converse?  The mind boggles.

So, In Summary:

IfyouhavesmallfeetgettoTargetbeforeIbuyalltheshoesalltheshoes

SoDak The Third: Bad Bad Leroy Lands

When last we saw our heroes, they had just escaped the clutches of the nefarious Satan/Bear/Devils and his shock inspiring Spire/Lodge/Tower of dread! (Can you tell that I've been reading the original X-Men comics?)

So, then we went to the Badlands.  They have been aptly named.  There are signs everywhere warning you to watch out for rattlesnakes.  Rattlesnakes!  Did you know rattlesnake venom is poisonous?  It can kill you!  Why do people live near/go to places where they might be killed my poisonous wildlife?  I cannot get my mind around that.  There are plenty of places to live/visit that are not populated with poisonous creatures.  Why not live there?  Seems like kind of a no-brainer to me.  But there I was, in the middle of venom country.

We chose the perfect day to go because it was about 103 degrees and that just seemed perfect for a visit to a crazy desert cliff field lined with rattlesnakes.  Right?  Anyway, I didn't get a whole lot of pictures as I was a bit preoccupied with surviving.  You'll have to excuse my thoughtlessness.

This is a picture of a cactus flower.  I've never seen one in real life.  It was neat.  So, since I was with two boys, they of course wanted to hike through the poisonous snake area.  Obviously.  I asked that we not go more than a mile and my wish was granted.  There were about three trails that fit the bill but they were super excited about the one with the rope ladder.  That's right.  Because if you are going to see a poisonous snake, it really helps to be danging from the side of a cliff on a rope ladder.

You think I'm exaggerating, don't you.  Well take a look, smarty pants.

 

Yeah.

But the best part is that we got to climb up it and then back down!  Because this trail was a straight line.  No, circling back for this trail!

Did I mention I almost died?  Because I did.  About eleven times.

I also scared the crap out of myself with my water bottle.  We were just starting the hike and I was all eyes on the ground, eyes on the ground.  To the left, to the right, up ahead.  Searching for snakes, like a sane person.  My water bottle bumped into my leg and I gasped and jumped about thirty feet in the air.  Then I laughed for about half a second and then I went back to searching for snakes.  It wasn't until we were home that the husband told me he got it on video.  Nice.

The last two pictures were taken by my friend Karl.  Some of these rock formations were so bright and strangely colored that they almost looked airbrushed or spray painted.

After the hike we went to the Badlands Museum/Information building and they had air conditioning, bless their hearts to death.  The museum was pretty neat.  They also had a short film about the Not So Great Lands in a tiny little theater.  Some of us who were Eagle Scouts fell asleep during the film.  Others of us didn't.

As a treat to ourselves for making it out of the Snake Pit alive, we stopped at Wall Drug.  If you haven't been there I'm not sure I can describe it accurately.  It's got signs for thirty miles in every direction.  At least.  Billboards big and small advertising their famous free ice water and 5 cent coffee.  So, it's a little restaurant.  There is also an ice cream parlor.  An actual drug store area, lots of crazy dioramas, a T-Rex, fake singing cowboys, a chapel, a second restaurant, a western wear shop, a toy store and tchotchke heaven.  The husband got a koozie what looks like a western outfit, complete with belt buckle.

This is the husband and I in the back yard area.

So, in summary:

I'm A Lot Like Indiana Jones

Wall Drugged

SoDak Episode II: Satan's Spire

I promise right now that reading this will be more fun, educational and all around a whole lot better than watching Star Wars Episode II.

On the way home from seeing the big heads we stopped at a maze.  This was Nick's idea and he was giddy at the thought of trying it out.  This wasn't a corn maze, it was made of thick wooden fence.  The kind you can't see through at all.  This, my friends was a real mother effing maze.  Like, the kind from Labyrinth.  I'm not at all convinced that it wasn't changing on us to keep us from reaching Baby Toby.  Four of us went in, one very smart member of our party sat out.  There were 4 towers and you had to find each and stamp your card with the tower stamp.  Then you had to find your way out.  Our friend Karl made it out in something like 26 minutes.  He was an Eagle Scout though.  I hear they have magical powers. The rest of us took over an hour to get out of there.  The husband and I were the only team and we took the longest amount of time at 1 hour and 20 minutes.  I'd like to state for the record that it was only because he didn't do as I said from the very beginning.  It's that way with most of the problems in the world.

Next we went to Satan's Spire.  Or, as it is known to most other people: Devils Tower.  Actually, the Native Americans called it Bear Lodge.  I'm just going to tell you right now that I've never seen Close Encounters.  I do know that you can't just walk up to the top of this rock.  It's a bazillion feet tall and straight up.  Just sitting out there in the pseudo dessert like a massive tree stump.

We saw people climbing it.  With lots of ropes.  Crazy, crazy people.  You can hike around the base of it.  One mile of paved pathway.  That gives you some scope as to how big this guy really is.

On our way home we stopped (as always) at the gift shop.  I love when places like that really know how to do kitch.  Observe.  These, you uncultured swine, are called Jackalopes.  If they weren't $80 I would have sent one to my friend.  She would have loved it.  For real.

So, in summary:

Star Wars Episodes 1-3 Are Abominations

Jareth Wins

Big Stump

Flashback to 1980's America's Funnies Home Videos

SoDak Part I

I've been remiss.  I know that.  I can see that it's already the beginning of July.  I feel like a lot has been going on.  But I guess it's not anything all that interesting.  Just a lot of little things.

Still waiting for Santa Fe to get called in.  Two more weeks, supposedly.  Can't wait to have that project over with so that I can move on to more interesting projects.  Like paving the driveway.  Sense the sarcasm.

We went to South Dakota for a week last month.  What's in South Dakota, you ask?  Space.  Lots and lots of space.  Area.  Land.  The city that we flew into has 70,000 and it was the largest town by far that we saw while we were there.  The airport has one baggage claim area.  One.  It has one restaurant.  One terminal.

It sort of made me feel good about the earth.  If South Dakota has all this room, surely the planet can't be over populated yet, right?  I mean, NY state is pretty populated and the open land area is dwindling.  Sometimes you feel like all the free space in the U.S. must be used up by housing tracks and empty strip malls.  If you feel suffocated you can just jump over a few states to South Dakota and have a billion or so acres to yourself.

I'm not the greatest of fliers and the plane to and from So Dak was tiny.  One row of seats on one side and two seats on the other.  Coffin tiny.  It took a lot of booze to get me there.  And even more to get me home since I had to climb back into the tiny metal box of death.  The one airport restaurant didn't open until 11:00 am.  Our flight left at 11:00.  So I brought my "medicine" with me.  There I was in the ladies loo, guzzling a bottle of red table wine fighting back visions of that tiny plane and it's fiery interior as it plummeted to the ground in a spectacular blaze of heavy metal and screaming Sarahs.  It's pretty much the classiest thing I've ever done.

Anyway, while we were in that middle state we saw all of the sights.  The thing about the sights in So Dak is, they are big.  Very large sights.  Monuments carved from the living rock, (Can I just say, I have no idea what the difference is between living rock and non-living rock?  But, I do know that particular turn of phrase always sends goosebumps down my spine.  "The living rock...") giant rock formations, huge expanses of weird geolithic deposits.

The bad part is that the sights are not all in one area.  They were all about an hour or two one way from where we were staying, in adorable Spearfish, SD.  So, lots of time was spent in the car.

First up was Mount Rushmore.  Did you know that Mount Rushmore was the country's first National Monument?  Did you also know that the artist intended it to be the bodies of Native American Chiefs, but had to swap them out for Presidents (including Roosevelt, who was in office at the time) to get funding?  Just another slight on my people by the white man.  Because the Natives are my heritage.

Everyone said that it would be unimpressive in real life.  It would seem smaller than you thought it was.  It did not seem smaller.  The thing is huge and it's at the tippy top of a freaking mountain, people!  The original design, which incorporated nearly full bodies would have been even more impressive, but the rock wouldn't allow for that.  I love how they didn't even clean up after themselves.  Just left the load of rubble at the bottom.

While we were in the gift shop there was a man signing autographs who had worked on the giant sculpture.  Doesn't that blow your mind?  Someone who worked on Mt. Rushmore is still alive! 

One thing that really killed me about this monument was that everyone was wearing their United States team colors.  Shirts, pants, hats, even purses with the flag on it.  The husband and I call this "shirt to show".  If you go to a concert, you don't wear a shirt of that band to the show.  You are already at the show, we know you are a fan.  You don't have to wear that band's shirt to the concert of that band.  It's overkill.  At Mt. Rushmore, every second person was wearing shirt to show.

This thing I can't understand.  Why wouldn't you make it so that...I mean, his face is right in the middle of the...you could have added another...I mean!!

Another fun fact.  Did you know that TJ created the first ice cream recipe in the U.S.?  Yeah.  Because he's pretty much the best guy, ever.  Oh, I'm sorry.  I'm using his nickname, we're totally close.  I guess you probably know him as Thomas Jefferson.  You can call him TJ though, he's cool with it.

After we looked at the big rock heads we went by Crazy Horse, which is infinitely more awesome in my book.  It was also infinitely more expensive at $27 per car as opposed to the old white guys $11 per car.  So, we just looked at ol' Crazy from the road.

Wow, I'm only like a third of the way through this story or less.  I better do this in installments.  So, until next week (...or tomorrow, since I have it off.  Godblessmerika.) 

In Summary:

SoDak, An Exercise In Space

Classy Bathroom Boozin'

Don't Mess With Me Pale Face

Dead White Guys

TJ Invented Joy

Crazy Expensive