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Friday, November 19, 2010

The Chrsitmas Decorating Post




I dare say that this post will be eagerly awaited every year. By my millions of adoring fans. Or by my mom and Heather, who I force to read this.

Christmas decorating at my house takes just next to eternity. I have to commit at least an entire weekend to UNdecorating from fall and REdecorating for Christmas. It's a huge undertaking, though my house is wee. Obviously I have lots of Christmas collections and not much space to arrange them in. When we bought this house I decorated the living room and dining room. Now, six years later I still decorate those same two rooms. With the addition of the kitchen, the back hallway, the bathroom and the bedroom. I'm threatening to move to the garage next. Don't laugh. It's no joke. Christmas decorating is dead serious in the Snug Bungalow.


So, let's jump right into it, shall we? (quietly sidestepping the glaring fact that I did not write about the Craft Antique Co-op finds, or the Dome Sale treasure. Like John Stewart says, "I've got shit to do.")


Round One: The Dining Room
The dining room feels mislabeled to me. We almost never actually dine there, preferring instead to park our carcasses in front of the tv at the end of a long day and shovel the food direct from the pots to our mouths without passing go or collecting $200. Something about that makes it sound like we are eating from the toilet. In case you are wondering, we are not. I think my mother used to call the toilet "the pot". Potty may have been too long a word. We like abrieve. in our family. Anyway, I'm not paying you to help me delve into my childhood and ferret out the whys and hows of a young psyche in turmoil.


Onward.


Here we have the Muppet corner. The tree bedecked in all manner of Muppet ornaments. I have too many of them to fit on this tree, (I know, I know, don't die of shock, ok?) so I'm a stickler about the ornaments having to be actually Christmas themed. The others are down in the Muppet Room. Didn't know I had one of those, did ya?



My aunt PJ made the Kermit batik. How much does she rule? The others are framed cards from the 80's. If you ever come across one you owe it to me. A forced or implied verbal or imagined agreement is binding the in state of New York. Just you remember that.


This is my tree collection. This is a very small part of my tree collection. Cower in fear/awe. Your choice.

The picket fence is new this year. I got it for free at the Public Market, because Heather is friends with a guy who sells stuff there. A loud guy who is half funny, half irritating. He's quick with a "that's what she said" joke, I'll give him that. So anyway, he's in love with Heather (or her jugs) and gives her free stuff. And I benefit too.


This little putz (I don't know why they call them that, but they do. By "they" I mean the government. Obviously.) house is new this year. It's one of the many things I failed to write about that I bought at the Craft Antique Co-Op. It's beautiful and amazing. White with red glitter. It's like being backhanded in the face with joy. I also got another one that is jadeite color. There were a whole bunch of them, but I'm pretty picky. Because I'm running out of room. For breathing. They were $4 each, which is a seriously good price for these little dudes. Anything made of cardboard or paper is more expensive because there are fewer of them left. Easy to ruin = valuable. But, I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know.


The cabinet that all of this sits on has been in my family for years. I grabbed it while I was moving out of my parent's house. It's amazing for displaying collections. I aught to know. I used to arrange our family's collection of pink and green Depression Glass (not as moody as it sounds) in there when I was young. Then it held Muppets and Jem during the years just after college. Now it's graduated to my jadeite collection, with red dishes intermixed for punch. You can imagine how my Christmas things look in there! Well, I mean, just look!

The Santa pitcher is new. I bought it from a vendor who set up next to us at the Public Market. It was $12 and has been repainted some on the face. But, I love it so much I can't care about that. Just imagine some kid in the 50's being served his Christmas morning milk out of this bad boy. Or imagine his parents serving Christmas cosmos! So many uses!

The Santa in the middle holding up a holly bowl is new. I rescued it from our stash of booth stuff. He was too good to donate. I've got my mercury glass bead strands in there. It's a total knockout.


The trees are starting to organize into ranks. Inform the governor.


This is the Martha Stewart shelf in our kitchen/dining room. I'm not trying to say that I decorate as well as Martha. The shelf is her brand. It's not for me to say who I decorate like. That's for you to say, and for me to nod knowingly about. Note: If you say that I decorate like a mental ward patient, I will poke you in the tooth instead of nodding. This red tinsel tree used to be the bane of the husband's existence. Now he just takes it as given. Just a part of the huge, garish jumble that is Christmas in the Belle house.


Oooh! Remember this? Well, do you!?


Don't be jealous of my plastic Santa house. I won't tell you how much I paid for it. (Yes, I paid for it. No, someone didn't pay me to take it away and promise to never bring it back!) You'd just judge me if I told you. I'm studiously ignoring the fact that you do that already.


More from other rooms later. Oh yes, that was just the one!!
I'll leave you with this parting thought: