An Impasse

Of course, you all know that I start decorating for Christmas on November 1st. Down come the fall decorations and up go the Christmas. Or rather, down come the fall decorations, out of the fall bins come the regular decorations, in go the fall decorations, out come the Christmas decorations and in go the regular decorations. This is a long process. This takes many hours. The house is a wreck for days. (weeks?) It's like a precisely choreographed dance number. I'm the prima ballerina, spinning in a pink tulle tutu, full of magic and glitter. Making it all work. Bringing the pizazz.

Usually I keep my cool and pump the whole thing out in a weekend. Sure, my legs are tired afterward and I need new toe shoes, but this is what I've been practicing the whole year through for! This is the big show! However, this year things kind of got...out of hand. I had a lot going on and didn't have the time to put my nose to the grindstone. I did have time to make a huge mess and leave it for days on end. I did have the time to sit listlessly staring at aforementioned mess and wondering, "what?"..."how?"... Suddenly the ballerina is stumbling blindly down an alleyway in a drunken stupor, one pink shoe dragging behind her, a sparkling tiara askance on her curls, pink tutu covered in debris as she tearily insists, "Hey, you're the best, you know? I mean, you're really the guy." to a bum in a cardboard box.


When you are sitting in rooms strewn with paper amid rubber tubs half full of holiday decor, half of broken dreams, unable to move forward, unable to move back, you've come to a certain spot in your life. This my friends, is called an impasse. It happens when you lose control. When your collections start to dictate your every move and you can't quite recall who you really are or what you are doing. When you just keep thinking, "My god there is a lot of stuff here. I'm not even sure I could make my way to the bathroom though all of this mess, should I have need. How did this happen? Where am I, anyway?" You look in the mirror at your dirty pink tutu and fear you've gone 'round the bend.


When this happens you can no longer help yourself. Outside forces must act upon you to snap you back to the reality at hand. This, I am thankful to say, happened for me. It came in the form of my saintly husband stubbing his toe on the third plastic tote that I had crammed into the limited walking space in the dining room.

As he howled, trying not to curse my name, Christmas, the Grinch and Charlie Brown, jumping up and down on one foot, I snapped to. Back to reality. "You're a ballerina, damn it, now dance!!"

Cuts had to be made. I only have x amount of space in this small house and y amount of decor is not going to fit into it. You do the math. (Because math and I split up in 9th grade and I don't like talking to him.)

Culling the collection is never an easy job for me. I like my stuff. Especially my holiday stuff. Every tiny little bauble. Even though it wracked me with guilt, cull I did. Six things. Six. Holy crap. I think that bum stole my tiara!

Sunday...At The Dome Arena...!

OK, so it was Saturday morning, but still. The Dome Arena has a nice ring to it, you have to admit. When I was a kid they would hold monster truck rallies and WWF matches there. (Dude, when I was little it was called the WWF and I refuse to call it the WWE or whatever it's supposed to be now. Long live Jake the Snake Roberts.) Now Roc City Roller Derby is held there. Hell yeah.

$2 to get in at 8:00 am. I'm guessing that right now you think there is something wrong with my brain. Waking up at 8:00 am and paying to get in to what amounts to a big yard sale. You're right. There IS something wrong with me. I'm a freaking genius.

I was working on a very limited time table of two and a half hours. This place was packed. I didn't end up getting that much, but my heart goes pitter pat whenever I step into a place that large packed with so much junk.

Check it:

The orange boots were the first thing I got. Right after stepping foot into the front door, paying my fee and getting my hand stamped with blue ballet shoes. (?) $1 for the pair. The purse is from the Gap. $5. The lady who was selling it had other great purses and a myriad of hand made hair do-dads. She calls her business "My Best Friend's Closet", which I think is adorable. The purse is in immaculate condition and I can't wait until summer so that I can carry it around.

I also bought a few things to re-sell on my Etsy page, of course.

Then there are these guys:

Lilah wanted the nun for $2. I'm going to put it in her Christmas stocking. This little sister will end up playing French music for a grouping of other nuns at my mom's house. She only has one poor, lonely friar, though. The Santy mug is for a buddy of mine. Looks like ol' Santy has a drinking problem with that nose of his. Stop spiking the eggnog that you leave out with the cookies, will ya? It's not easy driving a sleigh with 9 reindeer, especially when you are blowing a .08%


Speaking of blood alcohol levels...this set is also for Lilah. I mean, could there BE a cuter bar set? No. The answer is no. I'll save you the hassle of thinking for yourself. Check out those tiny top hats!

I wish I'd have gotten more of a chance to re-look around the place several more times. I would have made a run to the ATM and bought a bunch more stuff, maybe. But I console myself with the knowledge that it's happening again in January. It will be sub zero here then and nice and snowy. I'll be in need of a good hit. Get the tourniquet ready.

Ronald McDonald House Sale 2011

Now kids, before we jump right into the RMD sale, let me show you a few things I got at a sale a few weeks ago. It was a church sale that I'd never been to before (!!). I believe it was "Our Lady of Mercy" which is a lot better than "Our Lady of Eternal Sorrows and Sad Orphan Kids Out In The Snow" which I'm sure is a very happening parish around here somewhere. It was a rather sizable sale and I ended up getting a lot of good things for my Etsy shop. I only bought two things just for me, though.

Now, just in case you are looking at this chick and thinking that you could use a little Pepto Bismol to accompany the stomach ache that comes with staring at this shade of pink for too long, let me just enumerate the ways in which this pink easter chick rocks. 1- Pink, 2-Yarn, 3-Chick, 4-Wearing a hat, 5-The hat has flowers, 6-craft, 7-felt, 8-price (50 cents!!) 9-Yarn (yes, it counts twice!) and finally 10-Pink Yarn Easter Chick Craft Wearing a Hat with Flowers in it and having Felt Wings which are so adorable and the whole thing makes me want to cry with joy. I'm glad you see it my way.


See? I told you that you'd find pieces of silver (these for 25 cents each!) if you kept your eyes open! It seems like I find silver spoons the most. (Ooh! Silver Spoons!) Which is kind of ironic if you think about it since, you know, not everyone is born with one in their mouth, supposedly.

I'm currently knee deep in stalking this blog. Her paper flowers are swoon worthy, I'm telling you. I got all kinds of inspired and did a craft project! That hasn't happen in ages and I'm loving the result. Looka this! Wowzers. Can you believe these were originally coffee filters? Yeah, I know, right??

OK, I'm done with the catch up stuff. Now it's time for the main event. The Ronald McDonald House Sale. It only comes once a year and it's like Christmas, a marathon and a really great one night stand all rolled into one. Let me start by saying: Holy Crap. The line this year was worse than I've ever seen. Stretching on into oblivion. Everyone and their mother's dog donated this year, must be. Honestly. And it was raining. It took us 25 minutes to get in the door from where we were in line. It "stretched all the way to Terre Haute!" Wish I would have gotten a picture for ya, but you know how I get. The husband texted me just as I was entering the building, admonishing me to please "not buy anything back that you just donated". Smarty pants.

As I'm sure you surmised from the name of this post, all the money from this sale goes to the Ronald McDonald House Charities. It's amazing. People donate all of the items and then come back and buy other people's items and it must be a huge sum of money because it goes on for four days. Everyone knows it's best to donate and get your golden ticket to the pre-sale. Wednesday night. 4-8 pm. I learned my lesson well. Bring a snack and wear a tank top. It's so hot in there, no matter what it's doing outside. Hundreds and hundreds of panicked people trying to get the good stuff before other people get the good stuff. We all assume we have the same idea of good stuff. Obviously all the people are headed straight to the holiday decor made out of yarn, plastic and glitter!

I started in the Christmas section even though I really wanted to start in purses. The sale was in a different location this year and wasn't set up in it's normal pattern. So, I just had to go with the flow. I'm awesome at that, so it added another layer of stress/sweat. All told we were there for three and a half hours. I had rope burn on the inside of one of my hands from carrying a heavy bag with raffia handles. I didn't get to see everything/area. Then we gathered just down the road from the sale site at Rohrbach's for dinner. It was amazing. I came away with less than $30 worth of items in two giant bags. Let me show you:


Adorable Santa head mug with tiny candle: 25 cents, white ceramic teapot $3, vintage pepper shaker $4. I've been looking for just the right teapot all summer long. Turns out basic white is the perfect one for me.


Shazam! I must have been the first person in the Easter section! Because otherwise, obviously, these guys would have been snapped up. Look at that cute little couple of bunnies in the yarn basket. I mean! Come on now. It's been proven time and again that I can't resist yarn nor felt. If I was a super hero they would be my Kryptonite. Along with glitter. And plastic. 50 cents. The ceramic bunny pulling the egg cart (which is actually a legitimate antique stamped "Germany" and doesn't have yarn, glitter OR plastic) was 50 cents. Tiny plastic flocked chick, 50 cents. The corn handles are for the husband. A quarter for the whole set!


OK, now. Firstly I'd like to say that the little nudie angel isn't for me. It's to add to Sarah Mae's disturbing herd of freak babies. $1.50, which is too much to spend on a nude angel baby, but you do these kinds of things for your friends. The tall red one is for...I'm not sure yet. I sort of want to keep her, maybe? She's just so original and adorable. I can't find a maker tag on her anywhere. Her shoes and socks are molded plastic. $1.50 Now, the Christmas-ish mouse and baby I vaguely remember holding in my hand and being all kinds of distracted by the amount of things I still had to look at and the amount of things I already had ready to purchase. It was in this existential crisis that I must have put the mouse in my bag to purchase. I was totally surprised to find her in there today when I finally unpacked. 25 cents.


Goblet for a friend, $1. Set of 7 gold drink glasses for a newly married couple, 50 cents each. Plastic deer for a friend, 75 cents.

The first piece of my Boushh outfit! $1.50

And for all you fans of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia...AN ACTUAL KITTEN MITTEN! $1.50

AppleUmpkin

Yearly we make the thirty-odd minute trip to the tiny hamlet of Wyoming, New York for their AppleUmpkin Festival. (that's apple/pumpkin = appleumpkin) It started as a tiny fall festival that I'd go to with my family when I was young. It's grown quite a bit since then, but is still a great place to go to find some delicious cider, taffy, and candy apples. Of course, this year it was blazing hot, so I had me a sno-cone.

I'm pretty bad at taking pictures in the moment, as you well know. The husband jumped in with his phone and took a bunch for me and I did take some pictures in 2007, and not a whole lot has changed since then. Check it:

It's a pretty cute town and there are a lot of great things for sale both food and craft-wise. But then, you're gonna see some of this...

...because it's in the country. And in NY state, the country means camo fashions. Matching his and hers sets, even. Jealous?

But then you run across something like these guys, here and you feel a lot better about things.




This guy is always there. Selling these...things. And the funny thing is, his tent is always crowded. People buy these. I mean, they are deluxe and one-of-a-kind, after all! Are they ever!


This is always a favorite tent. Home made taffy. I prefer the cinnamon and watermelon varieties. The lady who sells it can be right nasty. If you are lucky you'll get one of her care worn looking kids to ring you up. They are much nicer since I wager that they've been beaten into submission from a young age. The taffy is worth it, in case you are wondering why you would want to get in the middle of some dysfunctional family. Worth it.


This is a bed and breakfast on main street. They sell hot cider and you can have lunch there too, if you like.


I don't know what this building is or does, but there is always a large used book sale outside of it. This year I saw a teenage boy scouting the harlequin romance section. I wanted to tell him that they would just give him unrealistic ideas about love, but I'm not his grandmother.


There are tents with people playing the banjo and the fiddle. Boy do I love to hear that kind of music! These are the type of people who keep their band stuff in vintage suitcases like this:


Then there is a building that I think used to be the town hall but is now an art gallery and a community space as far as I can tell. It looks like a big story book house.



Adorable, right? This is where they have the antiques dealers set up. I find great stuff at reasonable prices every single year. This year I got these bird ornaments. Covered in black glitter. They were meant to be Christmas ornaments, but I'm totally using them for spring/Easter.


This year I bought a few home made decorations. This lady had these really, really awesome plush characters for sale. She sewed/painted them herself. Nope, I don't know what her name is or if she sells on Etsy, so don't even ask. I'm not good in the moment. I'm trying to get better, but it will take time, so just bear with me. I just sort of freaked out and asked her, "Did you make these yourself!?" She looked both startled and weirded out when she answered affirmative.


I ended up with two because I spotted the cat first and then I saw a guy buying the skeleton and rushed up to the seller with a panicked expression, I'm sure, asking if she had "any more of those" whilst I pointed frantically to the retreating man. She had one more of those, in fact and I got it! Huzzah! Just come on and look at the detail on these things, will ya?

A-double-dorable. I'm still searching for just the right places for these new guys. There was also an amazing vulture that I hope to own next year.

We also went to a thrift store and I ended up getting...

Ba-bing! The red Pyrex bowl from that one set. The only missing piece that I didn't have! It was only $1.99 as you can see. Score! Just look into the face of rainbow bliss:


I also came into possession of a few of these. Now, I saved one for myself and gave one to Sarah Mae because she's got a demented sense of cute and I knew she'd love it. I've got two left up for grabs. Anyone want?


For your viewing pleasure, and to fuel your nightmares, may I present: Sarah Mae's terrifying baby horde!

Run! Run for your lives!!

A Rose By Any Other Name

I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's the Craft Antique Co-op and no amount of rebranding, fresh coats of paint, new color schemes or stupid new signs is going to change that. Harumph.

So last weekend some of us went on a shopping trip to the Craft Antique Co-op. I got quite a few things. Little things. Like, $80 worth of tiny $2 items. (Ok, ok, slight exaggeration, but wait till you see!) You know how I love my plastic. And my glitter.

It was Sarah Mae's first trip and she seemed to think we were overestimating when we said we'd be there four and a half hours. By the end of the first row (Where we stopped for a snack, no lie!) she was starting to get a handle on the situation. By the time we left she had a crazed look in her eye, was sweating and hauling two baskets to the check out counter. She got tons of great stuff (as did we all) aside from all the nightmarish rabbit/baby, lamb/fox and elf/babies. Girl has a terrifying sense of adorable.

Here is all the stuff that I'm adding to my already garish jumble of odds and ends:

With glitter.


I like the house to smell like fall.

A tiny clutch (ok, wallet if you must) and earrings. I couldn't decide if I liked these earrings because they remind me of corn or because they are sort of art deco or because they remind me of native American art. Why choose? Plus, when I wear them they make the most gorgeous tinkling noise. Like my own personal wind chimes.


And all the little bits. I love vintage Hallmark. Almost as much as I love vintage Avon. Let's not talk about it. I know that you are busy and don't have that much time on your hands.

I also got quite a few Christmas presents but I'm not going to show them. Some people should be forgetting that they exist.

Now. I've been telling you all about a certain room that I've got hidden away in my house. I wish I could say that it's concealed behind a secret bookcase/door that will only open if you move a certain book the title of which I'd never share or make public. (Though, seriously if I had one of these, I'd almost always go Catcher in the Rye. Is there anyone more fun to quote than Holden? "It gives me a real pain in the ass, if you really want to know the truth.") Alas, it's not hidden behind a secret door, gotten to through a secret passageway or revealed only with a magic word. It's just in my basement. There is one finished off room in our basement and the Muppets have been relegated to it. Some days I feel pretty bad about it. But, this being the 75th anniversary of Jim Henson's birth and all, (I think we might have talked before about how I can't get on the train where people say it's so-and-so's 75th birthday when so-and-so is no longer with us. It's the anniversary of his birth, but it is NOT his 75th birthday.) I think you deserve a peek.


Keep in mind you can't see three walls of this Cave of Wonders. I'm in the process of databasing the collection. I know, right?

Swan Song

Yard sale season is winding down in a hurry. Maybe if summer hadn't started two months late I wouldn't feel so depressed about it. Usually I'm kind of ready to sip apple cider and eat cinnamon donuts. But this year, I'm not. I'm clinging to iced tea and mai tais. I want paper umbrellas and watermelon. I want neighborhood sales every Saturday!

Last weekend there were two church sales. Some of my fellow travelers scored big. Some of them should be imprisoned for buying more greeting cards when they have a whole dresser drawer full of unused cards already. I didn't get a whole lot. Just a few Christmas things. After the churches we went to the large Salvation Army in Greece, NY. I didn't get a ton of stuff, but what I did get is good. Real good.

Christmas bits.

Banana Republic black v-neck sweater. $2.99. Take that Goodwill! (grumblemumble prices) None of your sass about how I already own about seven black v-neck sweaters. You heard that I said Banana Republic. Plus, you know that black is the source of all my powers.

Mossimo cardigan $2.99. I love me some creamy green.

May I present: The Red Polka Dot Dress. (Sam & Max $5.99) My mother brought this gem to me in the dressing room. It fits like a freaking glove. Let's see...I love red. I love polka-dots. I love things that fit well. Nicely done, Lilah. Let's look a little closer, shall we?

Oh yeah, that's the stuff. I wore this on my birthday and it makes me feel like nothing so much as Little Red Riding...Dress.

We're going to a fall festival this weekend. I'll try to remember to take pictures but you know how I am "in the moment". I also have all my treasures from my adventures at The Craft Antique Co-Op to show you, ya lucky little devils.

Ode To A Cake Plate

There have been a lot of shout outs lately. Some people get them, some don't. Some people feel snubbed, some remind me of things that deserve shout outs and some sort of order me to do a shout out to a certain something... But in all honesty the certain something really does deserve a shout out.

It's there, quietly in the background, holding together the entire tableaux...every time. The Elmer's glue to my construction paper diorama. I couldn't have half the great displays that I've bragged about if it weren't for this one, golden (jadeite) treasure.

I give you: The Jadeite Cake Plate

This pillar of my life was given to me by one of my college roommates.

(She'll hit me the the whipping stick if I don't say she was my favorite roommate. Either that or she'll cut me with a steak knife and then insist "Momma didn't mean it.")

Ever since then it has stood as the foundation of all of my holiday decorating. I never put this piece away. Ever. And so, in much deserved honor, I present to you, my Ode to a Cake Plate. A haiku.

Creamy green titan.

Sitting without sly judgment.

You hold my plastic.