The Usless Card

It's no secret. By now you should know. I frequent thrift stores. I love them. I love the variety, items that have a history, the way it's like treasure hunting, the prices, I mean, there is a lot to love. Henrietta is thrift store Mecca. There are tons of them there, ripe for the picking.

The first time I ventured into Savers it was the day before one of their major sales. When we went through the check out we were offered a pamphlet letting us know about the Savers Club Card. This card was free and would allow us to get major sales the day before the sale. There is nothing quite like a pre-sale to whet the appetite of a great sale-er.

All you do is sign up on the website! I greedily took the pamphlet and read it over, twice. Special coupons, deals on your birthday, random sales for card holders only, plus the pre-sale sales! I felt like Ralphie salivating over his Little Orphan Annie secret decoder ring. All I had to do was sign up!

So...off to their website I went. I'd signed up for other cards online. Panera Bread and Subway. These cards racked up points with each of your purchases, giving you FREE items! I'd just like to state for the record that the Panera card is one of the best card programs I've ever been in. I swear, I get a free item just about every other visit. And it's not cheap stuff either. It's good stuff. For free.

OK, so, I've got my pamphlet, I'm on the website. I sign up and then...am asked to print out a confirmation to be brought back into the store where they will then issue me a card. Mmmmkay. See, here's the thing. This is no longer convenient. In fact, it's starting to smack of stupidity. With the other cards I've signed up for they issue the card in the store. They have them right out for anyone to grab. Then you go to a website, register said card and BAM! You're in business.

So, now we have to get the pamphlet, go to the website, sign up, print a confirmation, bring it back in to the store, get a card and then bam? OK, fine. But this is the most bass-ackwards way of doing this that I've ever heard of. If this was for a regular store I'd ask them to bend over so that I could dispose of their paper confirmation the proper way.

After pressing print, nothing happened. This confused me. I pressed the back button to try again. It told me I had already printed a confirmation and couldn't do it more than once. This infuriated me. Let stupid Savers keep their stupid confirmation, their card and their stupid system, I thought. And I forgot about the card.

Until I started receiving their emails. Because I had signed up, you see. So I got to see all the promotions I could have been getting if their stupid card system would only work. That's pretty annoying in case you didn't guess. So I wrote to them describing my problem and trying (probably not very well) to hide my deep and growing resentment and frustration. After THREE email exchanges I learned that the confirmation will not print from browsers such as Chrome or Firefox. You pretty much are forced to use Explorer. (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little) Why this known problem wasn't mentioned on their sign up site is beyond my ability to imagine.

So, finally I got my printed paper confirmation (what is this, 1982?) and I took it with me to the pre-Veterans day sale. And I was issued my card, which inexplicably has a bar code on it. It was never scanned once. Not when it was issued and not when it was used. I just try not to think about it. I was also issued a paper coupon. What the crap good is having a card if you don't actually DO anything with the card?? I ask you?? I can't think about that. It will just send me in mad mind circles. I just have to concentrate on the fact that I got 50% off ALL of the items (except books) that I bought. Here they are. Just let the deals flow over your mind and wash away all the angst you've undoubtedly accumulated reading the beginning of this post. There weren't even any pictures in it. (Nobody wants to see bloody eyeballs, and brains exploding with inconceivable inefficiency, ok?)

Black (More of a really dark gray if you want my opinion. And I know you do) cardigan:
$3 with sale.


Green argyle sweater: $1.50 with sale


Blue dress: $4.00 with sale.

It's missing a button, but when I tried it on the button hits right about nipple level. That's never nice. So, I'm going to pick two fabulous buttons from my vintage stash and move them up to the lapels. I also think this dress is very Zooey Deschanel from 500 Days of Summer. What? You haven't seen that movie? STOP what you are doing RIGHT NOW and go watch it. That is not a request, people!! I'll wait....I'm glad you're back. You loved it, didn't you? You're adding it to your Christmas list, aren't you? Yeah, I thought so. I know, Joe is so cute, isn't he? I mean, that's why he's my boyfriend, after all. Come on with those freaking dimples, right?
So...what were we talking about?


I call this one the confetti dress. Even though it's not really. $5 with the sale. It had the original tags on it and hasn't ever been worn. Score. It is also a sun dress that was not made for someone with A cups. That almost never happens. I can't wait to wear it!
Check out the close up:



White dress with black polka dots: $4 with the sale.
Ridiculously adorable. I can't wait to wear it! I can probably just wear it tomorrow since it's been averaging about 60 degrees this November. We've broken the planet. That's it. They'll have to revoke that whole "no white after labor day" rule, because when it's a million degrees in November, why bother?

Oh, p.s. ... if you want to get any other coupons or deals from your "card" you have to print those out too. So really, the card is sort of like nipples on a man. They are there, for looks, apparently but they don't DO anything.

Oh, I can't leave you with that imagery. Quick, look at the buttons from the last dress. They're anchors. Cute, eh?

Swan Song

Yard sale season is winding down in a hurry. Maybe if summer hadn't started two months late I wouldn't feel so depressed about it. Usually I'm kind of ready to sip apple cider and eat cinnamon donuts. But this year, I'm not. I'm clinging to iced tea and mai tais. I want paper umbrellas and watermelon. I want neighborhood sales every Saturday!

Last weekend there were two church sales. Some of my fellow travelers scored big. Some of them should be imprisoned for buying more greeting cards when they have a whole dresser drawer full of unused cards already. I didn't get a whole lot. Just a few Christmas things. After the churches we went to the large Salvation Army in Greece, NY. I didn't get a ton of stuff, but what I did get is good. Real good.

Christmas bits.

Banana Republic black v-neck sweater. $2.99. Take that Goodwill! (grumblemumble prices) None of your sass about how I already own about seven black v-neck sweaters. You heard that I said Banana Republic. Plus, you know that black is the source of all my powers.

Mossimo cardigan $2.99. I love me some creamy green.

May I present: The Red Polka Dot Dress. (Sam & Max $5.99) My mother brought this gem to me in the dressing room. It fits like a freaking glove. Let's see...I love red. I love polka-dots. I love things that fit well. Nicely done, Lilah. Let's look a little closer, shall we?

Oh yeah, that's the stuff. I wore this on my birthday and it makes me feel like nothing so much as Little Red Riding...Dress.

We're going to a fall festival this weekend. I'll try to remember to take pictures but you know how I am "in the moment". I also have all my treasures from my adventures at The Craft Antique Co-Op to show you, ya lucky little devils.

Stop. Shower Time!

Today was my good friend Meggles' wedding shower. The husband and I got up early to go to the Public Market, but then didn't really have enough time for a full fledged day of yard sale-ing. So, I decided that I was in the mood to hit up a thrift store instead. I was in the market for sandals, shirts and dresses. As my good friend Meat Loaf says: Two outta three ain't bad. (Actually, I hate meatloaf. My mother would make it when we were little and my brother and I would sit at the table and cry. Real tears. She threatened us with having to sit there all night until we ate it. We chose to sit. And cry. Recently she told me that she had guests over and served it to them. I always knew she was a sadist. I don't know what I'd do if I was visiting someone for dinner and they served me meatloaf. Cry, probably.)

So, let's jump right into it. Lots of deals! First up the neatest Alice in Wonderland T-shirt I've yet seen. I have always loved Alice and I wish I could say that it was from the gorgeous piece of literature penned by Mr. Carroll. That not being the case I will divulge to you that my love for this fanciful tale came directly from the Walt Disney animated feature that both slightly terrified and intrigued me. I especially love the deep shadows in the film. Gorgeous! $1.99- Claire's Boutique, if you can believe it.


Next up is a drool-worthy find. Banana Republic jeans for $5.99 on sale, half off!! 3.00! Now, don't cry when I tell you this but, I'm cutting them off to make shorts. They fit really well on the waist and are way too baggy in the lower leg. They will be long cut off shorts as per the request of the husband.


This next shirt was $1.99, I Love H81, a Forever 21 brand, apparently. I don't think it's ever been worn. It's a very, very light sweater material and I mean, how retro 80's can you get? The shocker is that the husband liked it. He generally does not have a love of 80's fashion in any respect. This thing is tres comfortable. (sometimes I wax a little French)


Next up is a cute black and white (I know, you're shocked. I am too. I'm breaking away from my all black and whi...er...um...hm.) and red sun dress. $3.99 by Tres Chic. I can't find info on this brand so I have no idea where on earth it came from. But, I'm glad I know where it's going to. It has a cinch string in the waist, so it fits so nicely!


Here we have a pair of vintage Levis that have been made into cut offs. This might seem like a weird purchase to you but, might I call your attention to the zipper? All four glorious inches of it! That's right. These babies are not "low rise". These mothers rise all the way to the top. (much like my other good friends, House Of Pain) I repeat: I cannot wait until the highest waisted pants you've ever seen come back into style. I will rock those pants so hard and I will cry in unabashed gratitude every single day.


Last but certainly not least, the vintage 80's Wrangler Tshirt. (Remember those jeans? I want some of those jeans. I bet they have a six inch zipper!!) Oh, yes. Feast your eyes on this baby. Now, it was either this shirt or the oversize florescent pink Tshirt that said "Achy Breaky Heart", I mean, you can see what a dilemma I was in. This particular Salvation Army almost always has amazing 80's clothes. I've seen a red jumpsuit made of parachute material, a vintage Buffalo Bills jersey style Tshirt from when they were in some "The Big Game" and an awesome House of Guitars shirt which I promptly bought the husband, for $1. This place is awash in 80's goodness. If this store had a soundtrack it would be Living on a Prayer, Thriller and Whip It on repeat. The husband also liked this shirt, which is a wonder to me. But, I didn't oppose it, I just paid for it real quick before he could change his mind. $2.99

Six. Inch. Zipper.

Thrifting with The Guru

It is relatively well known that Wednesdays are half-off days at the Salvation Army Thrift Stores. All shoes and clothes are half price, except for one color tag. I don't generally have Wednesday off, but I did this week. So my friend Ann (The Guru) and I decided to go. She never misses a half-off Wednesday if she is free.

We went to the huge store at 535 E Ridge Rd. It's huge. So, so, so many clothes.

When we walked through the door the jewelry counter is just to the right, so we stopped there first. Ann has a quick eye and picked out three pieces before I could blink. While she was having them set aside I went to the shoe section. I found TWO pairs of shoes in my size. Both Mudd brand, each $2 with the sale. Check it.

They both have pretty small heels, but enough so as to disguise the hideous cankles. And that really is the whole point.

Next it was off to dresses. This is where the Guru always hopes to hit it big. She loves dresses. I mean loves. And let's just put it out there right now, she's got a lot of them. As well as other kinds of clothes. Lots. More than anyone else I know. More than some stores. Her giant wardrobe is lovingly curated from a wide variety of thrift stores in our area. That's why she's The Guru. She puts in the time and is rewarded, more often than not. She also talks a good talk and gets others interested in thrifting as is her wont.

I found THREE dresses. This may seem like a small number to you, but I'm telling you...I have a hard body to fit. I'm 5'2" when I'm lying to make myself seem taller. I have giant breasts, a very small waist and a round thing in your face. Probably .00000000001% or less of the clothes on earth are created for people like me. I loathe shopping for clothes. I've even tried the really expensive stores, hoping that maybe if I shell out a little extra dough I'll be able to get something that at least fits right. No dice. Honestly, I do just as well at thrift stores, which is to say, generally not well at all. And with thrift stores at least it's reusing and cheap. Two things I love.

$2.50-Sfuzi(??)

I've already worn this hot little number. It's a little longer than most of my dresses. Goes all the way to my knees. One of those things you have to deal with when your legs are two inches long. This makes the third plaid dress I have. Get some tights, long socks and motorcycle boots and you are all set. Although the husband is not a fan of the motorcycle boots. He bought them, but he pretty much hates the things. I, on the other hand, love them!

$2.00-Mossimo/Target

It's going to have to be about 40 degrees warmer outside before I can wear this slinky thing. It looks sort of like a slip, but it's made of really soft cotton which sort of reminds me of cheese cloth or mummy wrappings. It hugs you in all the right places, and as discussed above, I have those places.

$2.00-Divided by H&M
Yep. I'm just going to let this one sink in for a minute.
...
Yep.

Firstly, I generally loathe yellow. I mean, I hate it. To death. I think I have maybe two t-shirts that are yellow. But, they are creamy lemon yellow. Not this color. I'm not sure I even knew this color existed. The Guru and I pulled it off the rack to sort of be like "WOW, look at this one! Holy cow, that is bright!" But then we were kind of taken with it by surprise. So I tried it on as a sort of joke thing and then we both really liked it. So I bought it, for all of $2. It's also obviously never been warn. Very cool.

I'm planning to wear it tonight, which is New Year's Eve. With hot pink tights. Because there is no toning this thing down, so you might as well go with it. And the little brown shoes from above. And obviously a sweater. Maybe the brown one that I'll show you in a minute. Check out the detail on this fabric pattern. Too. Stinking. Cute.

We decided it made me look like a cartoon character. In a good way.

$1.00-Old Navy

A staple. Black long sleeved shirt. I wear them all the time. I only currently have one, so I got another.

$2.00-Old Navy

The brown sweater I was talking about. Let's not mention the fact that I've got two others that are very similar, ok? Let's ignore the fact that I might have a problem. Oh good, I'm glad we're all on the same page. Sometimes I'm just a sucker for something this cheap that has cute detailing:

See what I mean?

$2.00-Mark by Avon

Avon isn't just for grandmothers anymore. By now you know that I love Avon. I've never had any Avon clothing though. This sweater has great texture and is very soft. The three small, brown buttons are all different from one another. Love! Great for the spring/summer over a little dress and also appropriate for fall/winter with a long sleeved something or other under it.

$2.99-Roxy

Now, as you can see, this is a green tag item. This means that it was not on sale. I splurged and paid all three dollars. Sometimes you just have to treat yourself, ya know? ;) It still has the original sale tag, as you can see. I'm exited to bring this one to Florida/Disney. It's sort of 80's and Tropical. Probably I'll wear it whilst listening to Kokomo and sipping a Pina Colada. Aw yeah.

$1.00-Muppets

I don't plan to actually wear this. It's not my size. But, it was a buck and well, you know. Muppets. You haven't seen the Muppet Room yet. Or, at least a few of you haven't. You aren't ready yet. It's too shocking. I do have a stack of Muppet clothes that I either don't wear anymore or aren't my size. I'm planning a quilt. At some point. Let's stop talking about it. Your stares are making me uncomfortable.

$2.99-Forever

This was also a green tag. I treated myself twice! I am very spoiled. This piece needs to visit an iron, but it's super cute and fits great. I love these little jacket things.

$2.99-Vintage

This little gem was hiding in a shopping cart near the check out. A whole cart of newly processed bags and purses. Yoink! Vintage and delicious! It wasn't on sale. OK, so I treated myself three times. Told you I was spoiled!

Speaking of shopping carts...while I was in the checkout line with a cart crammed full of our finds a little old lady sidles up to me. She says, "Are you in line to check out?" I tell her that I am, in fact. She then looks content, folds her hands in front of her on her pocket book and settles in. I shrug and think, "OK, weird. Apparently she wants to wait. With me. Right next to me, almost touching me. Alright." So I go on staring at her, not knowing quite what to do, trying to get The Guru's attention so that maybe she can help me decide what on earth is going on with grandma. Finally my stare must have actually started drilling through her head and causing her a bit of pain. She turned to me with a slightly condescending way and says, "Can I have your cart when you are done with it?" Like it's too obvious why we are standing so close we are practically sharing a coat. Once I realize what the eff is going on I start clawing my goods out of the cart so that she can take the durned thing and leave me some breathing space. It was weird.

Kicking Off The Holiday Season Right

My mother and I have a pact. We are going to do less presents, more outings. Museums, theaters, music, art, science. Notice the omission of math. Thusly it was that she happened to take me to see Amadeus at the Geva Theatre for my birthday. We went last weekend and it was just sensational. Because the theater is so small and the stage is as well, I am always interested to see how it will be utilized to create different settings. I'm always bemused. It included all of the parts from the movie that I loved: Mozart's silly laugh, the large shadow of Don Giovani, Mozart chasing Constanze around under the furniture....ah, so good! I always tear up when they take their bows. I just appreciate their hard work so much. I remember something of what that takes. I want them to know how good they are, how entertaining, funny and sad. I clap extra hard to keep the tears from falling.

The husband is involved with organizing a Tweed Ride in Rochester. I'm helping a bit too, as a non-rider. He borrowed a vintage bike and is pretty excited. I'm helping to find some prizes that we'll give away for "Most Dapper Chap" and such. We have been looking for the right outfits at thrift shops. We haven't been too lucky since we are both pretty hard to fit. He is super skinny and sort of short. I'm very short and...curvy in...places. So this should be fun. I found the following pants, Tweed, $4.99, Ann Taylor Loft, size 6, far too long with a cute cuff. They are pretty 1930's/40's. I was thinking of doing a jaunty Amelia Earhart look with pants, white button up shirt with rolled sleeves, a skinny tie and maybe even some suspenders. After trying the outfit on at home I came to the realization that with my cropped hair I looked like a dude or a lesbian. Sorry lesbian friends, I was not going for that particular look. But you would have though I was hot. ;)

So, I guess I'll have to go in another direction. I think I'll keep the shirt and tie and maybe do a tweed skirt instead. Some heels, you know the drill. The husband found these shoes. He's pretty pleased with them and likes that they are comfortable and interesting enough to wear at other times as well.


We were discussing prizes in the thrift store and he asked me if I had any ideas. I said I'd like to find maybe an old suitcase. Leather or something. He pointed down. I looked. There was a tweed suitcase right next to us! We bought it, obviously. Turns out it was made by Hartmann, one of America's oldest luggage manufacturers! It has a great leather handle and was only $7! Oh, and the inside? Paisley!



So, as you can see, it wasn't a total bust. I also found two pairs of shoes at AmVets which is quickly becoming my go-to thrift shop for shoes in my size. Which is rare. The Merona buckle shoes were $3 and the Xhilaration heels were $1.98. I know they are crap brands, but they were my size and cheap! the black heels have a ribbon threaded through the edges and it ties in the front. Too cute!



I also found this dress from The Limited. The pattern and color are awesome, it's my size and was on half price sale ($2.50!) I am going to shorten in about a foot and a half. If anything is longer than my knees it makes me look like a midget with short, fat legs. (cankles!) As you can see the hem is already starting to come undone, so it's ready for some rework. I'll let you know how it comes out.



As you know, September is the beginning of my holiday season. I aim to start things off right beginning with tonight: a gathering of friends, food and drink at Tap and Mallet. Then comes Beerthday, a show in Buffalo and the weekends just get crazier and more wonderful right through October! I'll try to remember to take pictures and think of witty remarks to share.